September 19, 2009

You are a Mallu If ?


Putting together some of the common traits bringing together the mallu brotherhood. We might ignore, deny and even get furious about some of these, but forgive me guys truth can be really painful at times. So lets get the list started, if i offend anyone it was truly intentional hehehe, if you got to add more to it please feel free,


Your favorite film star is above 50 and his BMI will be mostly above 25 (over weighed)


Your idea about haute courte could be a glowing white lungi with an eye tingling red shirt.


You are unemployed but lives happily on the stipend send by your uncle who is either in Dubai or Saudi Arabia


Or you are running a home stay on your cousins property who is settled in USA.


You are ready to work 20 hours without a break yet raise the flags if you are asked to work 8 proper hours at home.


You cook all your food with coconut oil and use some of it as a gel supplement on your hair.


You are working in Bangalore, Hyderabad or Chennai and crib about the layman's inefficiency when at home .


If your off road is better than on road even if it is supposed to be tarred pakka roads.

You have just returned from your Diploma course in UK and unwilling to remove the white shoes, shirt inside the t-shirt and above all the fake accent.

Your idea of erotica is on the plumbier side and size zero is an abomination of humanity.


You have a relative or friend in some god forgotten place which people even find it difficult to place on a map.


At your wedding the bride is wearing a ton of gold (or imitation) and the food served is enough to feed an entire town


People laugh at you for your pronunciation yet find your lexicon and vocabulary unmatchable.


You are highly opinionated and find it easy to quote statements and statistics in a flash. (even if they are wrong)


Your mom doesn't know what is vegetarian, she thinks its a variety of fish she can deep fry in coconut oil. (mostly)


You don't mind voting and bringing to power either of the two non performing parties every five years.


The land at the centre of your town is worth more than its weight in gold ( he hehehe)


You are ready to raise the flag in no time if you think the injustice is on you.


Iam running short of ideas, i know iam not even half there and we can be really complicated if you look at it this way. This a post meant to be purely on the lighter side. Like they write before a movie " all characters and situations are fictional, if it resembles reality its truly coincidental ". Please comment and add to this, looking forward to your ideas.

tc

6 comments:

  1. personally feel that mallus' can be categorized into 2 groups...one that resides in kerala(hometown of mallus..malludom) and the other that resides outside of kerala..i feel the latter category is extremely tolerant of the surroundings while the former is quite the opposite...i fall into the latter category whereby we keep saying "its' ok", "it happens..namukkenthucheyyaan pattum(what can we do about it), "you have understand their problems too man", athunamukkupattiya paniyalla bhai (that is something we are not bale to do) etc etc....but why do we adjust?...we are we this patient?...

    i has this experience on a plane once...trip back to dubai from kerala...they were serving breakfast...flight: emirates(arguably the best airline in the industry{who cares as long as its safe to fly}...was traveling with my family..seating arrangement was 2-4-2....while rest of them were seated together..i got one of the seats at the end..so one seat was vacant and i was hoping a chic would come sit next to me (it did not strike me that the possibility of a beautiful girl sitting next to me was equal or less than the possibility for saddam,osama and bush to be part of a triplets..)..apparently a guy in his late 40's(i guess) sat next to me...now moving on..we got breakfast..the stewardess served us bread along with our breakfast and it was slightly cold...like usual..i gobbled up everything except the "unhealthy vegetables-totally against it"...while the guy called for the stewardess and made her change that particular bread 3-4 times until he was satisfied...i guess he still wasn't satisfied...i stared at him with a confused look and he told me that he paid for a service and he deserves to get that..later, advised me to make sure that whenever you are not satisfied with something, do not hesitate(i am a mallu..what can i say..i still hesitate..crap).

    Well in general mallus are scared lot...we think of countless possibilities were we can get screwed before we do something...we think twice before scolding a waiter for something gone wrong with the food that is being served or service in general was not satisfactory...we would think, "What if the waiter spits on our food?"...well its' a possibility guys...can't seem to find a way around that problem anyways...

    it's been nice; blogging!!!

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  2. great words of wisdom from the symbol of mallu tolerance, hehehe, undoubtably the biggest comment i have revieved so far, its more of a post than a review, you should take up writing more seriously, have a good way with words man, tc

    i agree with your comment 100%, we tolerate almost everything, we dont care about service, quality, we just wanna live and hopefully let live. There are exceprions too who consider every opportunity as a purposeful insult and take things too personal.

    we are too resilient, complacent and apprehensive to say the least (straight out of a ranji paniker movie)

    tc

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  3. U do all the kind of jobs abroad (even toilet cleaning), but not in Kerala. U hire labourers from Tamil Nadu and Bihar, but do the same job in Dubai and or any other gulf countries. U would want to piss if ur friend wants to. Imagine U r running towards a bus which is just bout to depart from the station - if anyone asks for a lighter to lit his smoke, U wud definitely stop to help him. Flights to Kerala will show u characters always boasting bout their big-times in gulf and aeroplanes. When the air-hostess refuses to offer a drink (after his limit is done), he would start with "U r only 20 years of age.I am flying even before U were born..blah blah". Any malayalam movie releasing on a friday is a HIT. If its friday, we tend to watch any movie at the theatre.

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  4. @ Saqqi hehehhe good one i like the bus part and the areoplane scene looks very familiar hehhee thnk u tc

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  5. u missed dis 1... we speak on our cell phones loud enough for d entire town 2 know wht we are saying! We are also the best back-biters ever! No-one can bitch and gossip as a Mallu can! Cheers!

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